Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
