One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I can't turn off my feet"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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