I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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