is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize