Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize