How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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