she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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