Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
