and you said cock pushups were impossible
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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