whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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