He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
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I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
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She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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