This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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