Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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