Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
