Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She told me I should be a condom model.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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