Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
