i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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