is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
