How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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