I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.