Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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