i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
