I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
