i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
