At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
