dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize