Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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