this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
