Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
There's always time for handjobs
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
