Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
