I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Sober January is a disaster.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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