Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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