What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I FOUND THE LEGS
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
