More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
