Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
