So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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