I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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