I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
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