Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
