she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
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I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
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Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize