I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize