I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
