i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
