was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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