I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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