i think i have herpe
just one?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
