Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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