I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
