whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
