ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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