i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
