who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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