there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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