It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
