he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
