Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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