Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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