Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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