; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
